You thought I quit didn't you?

Ha... I know you thought I had quit... given up... was the biggest loser (& not in a good way...)

But alas, here I am... 2009... still keeping on.... slow but steady...

My excuses for not posting? My computer died... I have been sick & I lost my log on... so yes, I am a bit of a loser after all...

My resolution for 2009... just to keep on keeping on... No matter how long it takes,
I WILL DO IT THIS TIME!

Since I began MY CHOICE in Nov (was it Nov?) I am down 14 lbs.... granted I lost the first 6-8 in the first week.... but I am going in the right direction RIGHT? I have to keep telling meself this to just doing what I am doing....

I am the type of "dieter" that likes to lose 20 lbs in a month for whatever big occasion may be coming up...look great for the one night, & then spend a week putting it all back on. This is the story of my life....

So to take 2 months to lose 14 lbs is painfully SLOW for me.... but hopefully, this time, I can keep the scale moving in the right direction....

I am no longer on a diet---- I am doing nothing fad-ish... I am still listening to my hypsnosis (not every night like I was) but a few times a week... & just trying to keep moving...

I keep telling myself that if I continue to eat less... & move,
good things HAVE TO HAPPEN.

I have been eating whatever I want.... with the big difference being no more binges....
'
When i would get super hungry I could go through a bag of chips on my way home from work... Or a candy bar... whatever, you get the picture....

Hubby is on the band wagon with me.... we got the wii fit for Christmas & I think it was a real wake up call for him.... He has never in his life been on a "diet" or ever tried to lose weight... because when he would increase his activity even the smallest amount, weight would drop off of him....

When he hopped on the Wii & it said he was OBESE... he had to be honest with himself...
We now have a bet on who will lose the largest % of weight before March 15th.. ($150) I know he will win, but I am just thankful for someone to work out with & help in planning healthier meals....

I haven't been walking as much as of late, but plan on getting back into it.. We went for an hour walk today... & I have been playing between 1/2 -hour of wii fitness everyday... (have I mentioned I LOVE wii Fit?)

How are you all doing? Any good news out there?

Wed. Weigh in...

Shit... I gained 1.5 lbs... I am not getting upset, i am not giving up... . I am telling myself it is water weight... It could be right?

I KNOW I am moving in the right direction... I can not give up...

After I hopped off of the scale this morning... I have been giving myself pep talks...the worst thing I can do is to give up RIGHT? Even if I can manage a 2 lbs weight loss a week...(I will have to have a BIG loss next week) I would be at my goal weight by summertime. Slow & steady...

I have pretty much giving up on the 10 lbs by next week...I am going to have to make due with NOT LOVING myself in my dress next week.... But this will be the LAST CHRISTMAS PARTY I go to FAT... On the bright side at least Aunt Flo will be gone next week before the party & my HUGE GUT should be a little smaller....

Chin UP...& off to walk. POSITIVE THOUGHTS...

10 k Baby... & OH CRAP

OK so for the good news... I walked 10 k today! yea me.... which is 6.25 miles (I had to look that up) I am really proud of myself...

As you may have noticed...(all 3 of you) I have been MIA the past few days... & did not post my Wed. weigh in... I ended up losing 2 lbs last week. I feel like saying ONLY 2 lbs... but i know at least it is a step in the right direction. & I know I was getting a little relaxed last week with what I was eating... not bad, but 2 much salt for SURE... (PMS)

SO I assured myself I was OK... I have an 8 lb loss thus far & that is a good start... I have been telling myself SLOW but STEADY...I can do this....

Only to find out... My company Christmas party is going to be FORMAL...SHIT.

I had an outfit I loved... was looking forward to the party but now this... I am not going out to buy a formal gown for this party... & the formals I do have... I haven't worn since before I got pregnant with EVA... 5 years ago....

So now I am in PANIC mode... screw the steady & slow approach, I need to lose some serious weight FAST... like 10 lbs in 10 days... (sounds like it could be a TV show) & guess who just started today....N I C E..

I tried 2 dresses on, which don't look outdated.... I can get them both zipped, but anyone looking at my mid section will be able to tell i had 2 c-sections (oh, & that the dress would be PERFECT if only it was 2 sizes LARGER....)

CRAP.... CRAP.... CRAP.... Hubby seems to believe I will make the dresses work/fit in the 10 days I have...(I think he is just saying that so I don't go out & buy something new...)

So I am officially kicking it in.... Not weighing myself until Wed. but with Aunt Flo in town, it probably wont be great news anyway.....

So please... y'all, cross your fingers that I can pull this off & do enough stomach crunches to not look like a TOTAL PIG at the Christmas Party.....
THANKS!

Ugh... Not the BEST day...

Hope I am not falling off of the wagon... Didn't have a GREAT day... not really bad, but feel like my MOJO is failing me.

I didn't walk today.... first time in almost 2 weeks... just too much crap going on, with kids, hubby, house, work....

I didn't eat BAD... no junk, but not as good as I have been... & I didn't drink 1/2 the water I SHOULD have....


I weighed myself yesterday eventhough I PROMISED myself I was only going to weigh once a week... I was down another 2 lbs... YEA... Hope I keep it up before my "REAL" weigh in on Wed.

BLAHHHHHH... wish me luck... tomorrow I am going to kick it in even if I have to take my walk at 10 pm in freezing weather.... SERIOUSLY

Weekend update...My husband the"FEEDER"

You all know what a feeder is right? I have seen a couple of documentaries , about guys like that... & I think it could be my HUBBY....

Today he brought PIZZA home for me... Mmmm THANKS... and being in a feeding frenzy from being out shopping all day... what did I do? I ate 2 pieces.... They were the WORST PIZZA I have ever eaten...seriously, I don't think it had anything to do with the hypnosis...(cause that should have stopped me from eating it all together right?)

DAMN... I was all prepared to make myself a lovely chicken salad when he walked in with the Pizza....

I don't think hubby wants to keep me big... he just doesn't want me to be smaller than him... (of course I am, but we have approx the same amount of weight to lose...)

Anywho..... While hubby took the kids out, I put on my new hiking shoes & went for 1 .5 hour walk around town....

I ended up meeting up with hubby & kids at the store & my son asked if he could walk the mile home with me.... Ummm SURE... this is the 3rd time he has walked with mom this week... Kind of cool, the time alone with him & knowing that we are doing something good for ourselves...

I may have overdone it with the walking in the new shoes....as I now have 2 blisters... I may have to give it a rest tomorrow....

I just feel like I need to take advantage of my "MOJO" while I have it.... I am so afraid I am going to wake up & I will go back to my old habits... (OLD...its been about a week & a half)

POSITIVE NOTES....

Saturday is the NATIONAL day of crap & junk food.... Kids are generally allowed to eat as much junk as they want on Saturdays.... (in the olden days, this is the only day they would get candy...)

This evening as we cuddled up for family movie night, the kids had popcorn (no butter) each child was allowed one glass of diet soda... they seemed totally satisfied... I asked everyone if they wanted apples.... YES... (we as a family do not generally do fruit, unless it involves fresh FATTENING cream...) We all gobbled up a plate of apples & the kids switched over to water....

NO COMPLAINTS... ? First week no chocolate on the weekends & they didn't even notice!

I have noticed that the kids are coming in now & getting themselves water instead of asking for Milk, or juice, or soda..... I am AMAZED....

So the ladies coffee I went to last night? On the table were cheesecakes, carrot cake, chocolate cake, imported chocolate cookies from England.....& fruit salad..

Although I wasn't hungry, I took a small serving of fruit..... (WHO AM I?) & although the carrot cake was very tempting...it looked delicious.... I just had NO urge to even taste it.... & I didn't feel like I was missing a thing....

Getting prepped for the weekend...

I woke up HUNGRY this morning.... the kind of hunger, which would normally set me into a tizzy ripping through cabinets....

This morning was stressful, we woke up late this morning... (another trigger for me to overeat....)

I get the kids off to school...still STARVING... with nothing in the house I want to eat...I am fruit-ed & yoghurt-ed OUT...

I get to the grocery store looking to buy something to eat RIGHT NOW... I will admit in the past, going to the store CRAZY, HUNGRY has been a BAD IDEA...I would buy all sorts of crap & usually grab a bag of chips or something else equally bad to snack on in the car... (hmmm, wonder why I have been gaining so much weight?)

Today, I went into the store... prepared to "take the day off"...... I have been SOOO GOOD...

I ended up leaving the store with Spiced Ham... mozzarella, tomatoes, cucumbers, and a loaf of warm 5 grain bread.... NOTHING bad even appealed to me...AT ALL...

I am THINKING & FEELING like a thin person.... (I have never felt like this before.... ) Now mind you... I have only lost 6 lbs... so I am a LONG way from my goal.... sometimes I have to remind myself that I have a long way to go... but then again maybe I should just GO with it... Keep thinking fit /thin?

Based on how hungry I was this morning I don't think I ate enough yesterday.... I am not measuring our counting anything...I am just eating when I am hungry because I don't have the urge to snack.... Today I am going to try to eat a little more protein....

On my way to work yesterday I stopped & bought myself new hiking shoes... (it is starting to get slippery over here...) Remembering I had the shoes in my car, I took my lunch break & went for a 30 min walk.... i also did a 30 walk before going to work.... Yea me.... I feel GOOD....

The real test will be tonight... I am going to a ladies coffee...(with lots of yummy Norwegian desserts.... ) I think I will listen to my Hypnosis thing one more time before I go...

How are y'all doing?

Welcome...

Oooo I feel like I am making my Blog debut...

welcome to all of y'all who wondered over from my other blog.... Not a lot to look at yet.... but I am working on it...

I am hoping this blog will be a place to put all of my thoughts about my weight & weight loss down... maybe figure things out... like why do I lose & gain the SAME 30 lbs OVER & OVER & OVER.... (I invite everyone to share... because I think there is a lot to learn from each other...)

I think it is great to have a place to write down all of our accomplishments, & goals... but I also want to figure out why we are where we are... how do we get where we want to go & how to STAY at our goals....

OK the HYPNOSIS I have been using for the past week is called LOSING WEIGHT & done by a man names GLEN HARROLD... I found it on www.Audible.com where you can download books....

I had some free book credits that I used, but I think it costs around $15 for the download...

In MY OPINION this is the best $15 ever spent on trying to lose weight... I have TRIED EVERYTHING..... pills, courses, shakes...& I have NEVER felt like this.....

I am almost afraid to go on & on about this in fear that I will jinx myself, but this time it is DIFFERENT.

As I was walking my 5 miles yesterday (mind you, last week I was thinking a 20 min. walk was a real feat...) it hit me.... I am starting to think/feel like a thin person....

Thin people totally won't get what i am talking about... but anyone who has had an issue with their weight will totally get the "thin thinking" Like your thin friends who say...."OMG I totally forgot to eat today..." OMG...who forgets to eat? I wish.....

But this past week, I haven't been consumed with what i can/or cannot eat.... I have eaten when I was hungry...stopped when i was full, drank lots of water...& walked & walked & walked because it felt to good to be out moving.....